My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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