We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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