i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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