I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
This is the high leading the old right now
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Randomize
