So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
