you guys were way drunker than both of me
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
