Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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