i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
