oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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