i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
