We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
