We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
