it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
