did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
