I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
