Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The best revenge is premature balding
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
