how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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