Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Come on in and take your pants off
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