So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
