i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
