Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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