no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Im part way to drunk.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
