fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
