omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
