"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I have feelings that need drinking.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
