I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I need a beard to bite.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
