Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
