he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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