Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
