had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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