I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize