I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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