Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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