Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
