Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
