it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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