How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
