If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
