umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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