yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Randomize
