Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
