i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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