This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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