Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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