so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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