high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
