people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
