it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
