can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
