why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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