I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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