I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
