can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
