I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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