Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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