kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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