I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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