my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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