His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
