I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
