i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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