okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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