When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
