there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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