you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
